I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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