My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
