I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
