i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
