You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
