Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
