That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Randomize
