Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
