all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
