Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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