Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize