three words: i give head
three words: not that well
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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