Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
