You're completely useless in the revolution.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize