How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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