dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
