we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
