After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
