We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
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