This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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