Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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