There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
