3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
