We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
