Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Ladies don't puke and tell
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
