im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
