if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
