If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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