he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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