It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
