The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
