no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
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