apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
