he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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