Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
