Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
