i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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