I'm eating all of the evidence.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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