At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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