She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
