You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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