all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Randomize
