69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize