i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
My dick has a subreddit
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize
