As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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