Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
