so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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