i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
