8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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