Is it normal to miss your booty call?
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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