He asked me if I "almost moaned"
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
