Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
This is not my ceiling
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
