He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize