I think I am morally bankrupt
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
