Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
