Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Randomize
