Well douche your snatch and let's go!
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
