Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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