OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
