your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
