I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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