I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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