just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
