id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
